Angus MacGyver of the clan MacGyver
by Dan Satherley
So lets say you’ve found yourself clutching a rope ladder dangling from a helicopter above a lake infested with killer crocodiles, and you’re being attacked by a man with a flamethrower.
It could happen you know, and when it does, who would you like to be on hand to save you? James Bond? Die Hard’s John McClane?
Well, a recent survey suggests more people would look to MacGyver in times of strife than any other fictional character.He beat not only Indiana Jones and 24’s Jack Bauer in the poll, but also Tomb Raider’s Lara Croft, who was brought to life in the form of Angelina Jolie.
If I was imprisoned by an evil mastermind I know who I’d choose to be stuck with, and it wouldn’t be a guy with Scottish blood and a blond mullet who knows how to use a knife.
But the survey failed to ask just what it is about MacGyver that real people, not just The Simpsons’ Patti & Selma, think is so awesome.
The guy never had a steady relationship, though to his credit his weekly girlfriends never overlapped - he was a true serial monogamist. And he could never quite finish some jobs - according to his Wikipedia page, MacGyver tried to kill his arch-nemesis Murdoc nine times without success.
To this day I’m still wary of people named Murdoc, because if MacGyver taught me nothing else, it was that people named Murdoc are EVIL AND CANNOT DIE.
Perhaps those surveyed appreciated MacGyver’s undying devotion to his kidnapping-prone best mate Pete. Barely a week went by without Pete getting kidnapped by terrorists, bandits, or on a good day for viewers, both. Still, the fraternal love between a gun-hating man-whore and an overweight blind man won’t save you from a crumbling mine shaft or an army of killer ants.
So how did MacGyver win the hearts and minds of the endangered everywhere? Surely it was his kick-ass theme tune. It’s instantly recognisable, full of drum fills and keyboard frills and played over a title sequence that ends with an explosion that looks like it came right out of Star Wars.
And if MacGyver himself came right out of Star Wars, the rebels wouldn’t have needed to brave enemy fire in a narrow trench and hit an exhaust port only two metres wide to blow up the Death Star. MacGyver could’ve done the job with some gum, a sock and a bicycle chain.
And Han would’ve had no chance with Leia while ol’ Angus MacGyver was in town.
Everyone’s probably got one of those “I remember in McGyver when” stories. Here’s mine: I remember in McGyver when he was caught by some bad dudes and had to rig up a flying fox out of some fishing-line and coat-hangers, which he then shot accross a rabid doberman infested courtyard by using a pipe (from somewhere) and some highly exlposive mothballs. McGyver convinced a whole generation of dudes and dudettes like me that you could make and do anything with everyday stuff in your dad’s garage.