Bad luck, who needs it?
by Myrddin Gwynedd
Superstitions - they’ve been around longer than the old wives themselves, but they still manage to influence us to this day.
Do you avoid walking under a ladder, or touch wood to ward off misfortune? It may not be logical, but underlying these irrational beliefs are centuries of long-forgotten ways of thought.
Superstitions centre around an irrational belief that a specific object, action, or circumstance will indirectly influence the outcome of certain events that occur thereafter.
You could perhaps argue that this whole superstition lark started when an apple became associated with sinning, or when your grandma told you never to rest a pair of new shoes on the kitchen table.
Regardless of how and when superstition came to be, one thing’s for certain - if you think that crossing a Gypsie’s palm with silver will bring you good fortune, you are most certainly not alone…
Which brings us neatly to my compendium of top superstitions.
So, place tongue in cheek (a superstition?) and enjoy…
Superstitions
To refuse a kiss under mistletoe causes bad luck
My take: Honey, refusing a kiss at any time of year is a crime as far as I’m concerned. Pucker up, peoples!
The wedding veil protects the bride from the evil eye
My take: It can also hide the fact the bride’s aesthetically challenged (aka a minger).
A sailor wearing an earring cannot drown
My take: What utter nonsense. Does that include clip-ons?
If the bottom of your feet itch, you will make a trip
My take: Either that or you’re already on some kind of trip.
If you hear foot steps behind you at night, don’t look back. It may be the dead following you. Turning back could mean that you will very soon join the dead behind you
My take: Erm, it could also be some lunatic stalker who swiped your knickers from the clothes line last night. Run!
Black cats are evil
My take: Really? And we assume that white ones are the opposite? Only a fool believes in such absolutes.
Friday the thirteenth is an unlucky day
My take: So is any other day if you go around thinking like that.
A rabbit’s foot brings good luck
My take: Well not to the poor rabbit whose limb you severed in order to brandish your lucky charm.
If a black cat crosses your path you will have bad luck
My take: Honey, if a pussycat crossing your path is considered bad luck, then what hope is there for humanity?
Garlic protects you from evil spirits and vampires
My take: It actually makes you incredibly unpopular in confined spaces, too.
Our fate is written in the stars
My take: Is it? So that’s where I’ve been going wrong…Look up, peoples, look up!
If you blow out all of the candles on your birthday cake with the first breath you will get whatever you wish for
My take: If you can manage to blow out all your candles out in one go, you’re either aged under ten or you’ve got the wrong orifice pointing at the cake!
Eating fish makes you smart
My take: So, does that mean that all meat eaters are dumb?
Toads cause warts
My take: This one’s as old as the hills. Believe that and you’ll believe that Milli Vanilli sang live. Shame on you.
It is bad luck to sleep on a table
My take: I’m not sure about it causing you bad luck, but it might play havoc with your back, though.
After receiving a container of food, the container should never be returned empty
My take: Surely that’s an insult to the person who gave you the container in the first place? “Sorry, but your cooking stinks.”
To cure a sty, rub it with a gold wedding band
My take: Yes, that’s right, cast aside conventional medicine in favour of rubbing your eyelid with a piece of metal. Genius!
To give someone a purse or wallet without money in it will bring that person bad luck
My take: Forget the bad luck, ditch the person who gave it to you for being so stingy. Talk about being tighter than a gnat’s behind.
Smell dandelions, wet the bed
My take: Yeah right, wake up and smell the coffee, more like.
You must get out of bed on the same side you got in on or you will have bad luck
My take: What a load of baloney. What other choice do you have when your other half is snoring his head off next to you, anyway?
We all know the one about not walking under a ladder, but is it superstition or common sense?
Share your superstions with us - whether sensible or simply silly - by submiting a comment below.
Good luck!
Yes I agree with you - if you go around thinking like that, then it will most likely come true!
I confess…I have an extremely silly superstition. But I think that might have more to do with my OCD. I think if the curtains are pulled so the right one overlaps the left one, a stalker or some other creep will break in at night and get me. I change EVERY. SINGLE. curtain EVERY. SINGLE. night to make sure.
I like Mr Lucky.
Where’s your picture?
The camera broke…
Myrddin, it’s bad luck to take the p(ss out of people’s superstitions too.
“Black cats are evil”
I have a black cat and a white cat. What does that make my luck?