The Nuffield Street monster
by Matt Samra
Auckland has its fair share of Myspace novelties, such as the Spikey Red Thing and the Inflatable Sheep.
So, when I got my hands on the infamous Nuffield Street Monster, I had to ask some hard-hitting questions.
The Nuffield Street Monster has been a highly visible member of the Myspace community for nearly a year. Thanks to a local internet cafe, the deformed clown has been able to share photos and post blogs about his life. I sat down with him recently at Mac’s Bar, and this is what he had to say…
Q. So NSM, what made you decide to get a myspace profile?
A. Well, to be honest to begin with I was doing it because I had nothing else going for me and needed to get ahead in life somehow. I knew Nuffield street was ‘the place to be’, so I set up camp, so-to-speak, and took it from there.
Q. What reaction have you got from Nuffield Street staff members?
A. Well, the reaction has been pretty good. They all seem to like the idea of a ‘monster’ hanging around and are always happy to have photos [taken], etc. I guess they don’t mind if it’s doing their store some good. For example, Connor at mexicali said I could have a free taco if I got a photo in front of his store.
Q. So Nuffield Street is pretty snazzy. Why live there?
A. I like that it has rich people that feel sorry for me. And the same people go there so they recognise the monster. I like the food places the best, free food is always a winner. Connor at mexicali knows how to please the residents of Nuffield. I love the hot women, even though they don’t think I’m attractive.
Q. Describe the places to be seen in Nuffield. And where you eat.
A. Macs brew bar is where the rich businessmen go after work for a few sneaky beers before going home to their housewives. General Issue has Abercrombie and Fitch, Mexicali has mean food - if you like spicy food. It’s pretty much a shopperholic’s dream. Wagamama is awesome, too.
Q. What do you think of the whole social networking revolution?
A. It’s pretty sweet. I never had friends until Myspace and never met celebrities until I moved to Nuffield street. Myspace saved my life. If I met myspace Tom, I’d give him a taco - Well I’d have to get one off Connor first.
Q. Anything else you wanna say to the world?
A. I love Nuffield street and I love meeting new people. I’m pretty cool, I’m pretty hot in a monster type of way. When I say monster, I mean monster as in the Adams Family, not a Charlize Theron style monster. Come and play some basketball down behind the shops with me, I’m always keen for some one - on - one. Shout me a beer, too. I’m a good dude, and i might pay you back one day. Probably not, but you know how it is.
Q. What advice do you have for other Myspace novelties?
A. Keep the humour clean. I mean anything I’ve done isn’t offensive or anything like that, and just puts a smile on people’s faces. Keep the content coming, don’t hit a dry spell or the hype will die down. I’m all about busting out new ideas to keep everyone interested.
Cheers Nuff, keep on keeping on. Check out the Nuffield Street Monster’s Myspace profile here
Have you spotted the Nuffield Street Monster? Tell us about your sighting/encounter by submitting a comment below.