Home sweet home?
by Amy Williams 
Bob wandered around the Sydney harbourside, enjoying the scenery, the people and the excitement of his new home.
He was so glad he’d finally joined the brain drain and fled New Zealand, along with thousands of others, for the sunny shores of Australia.
Suddenly his eye was drawn to a giant billboard. “BOB COME HOME TO TE PUKE, WE MISS YOU. LOVE MUM”. With a jolt, he realised the message was for him.
As he moved closer to the sign, Bob inhaled deeply, trying to calm himself. What was that he smelled? My God - it was the scent of new-mown grass, just like when Dad had finished cutting the lawn. And was that the comforting smell of…laundry?
“Mum!” cried Bob in a choked voice. Pushing aside a young woman in a promotional t-shirt, who was vainly thrusting Pineapple Lumps in his direction, he hightailed it to the nearest travel agency and booked himself on the next Air New Zealand flight home.
This (imagined) heart-warming scene is the fruit of our national airline’s latest promotional campaign.
“Home, sweet as” is designed to entice homesick Kiwis in Oz back across the ditch.
New Zealanders can enter a short text message online, which is displayed on the public billboard for all to see.
It’s also captured on webcam and emailed to the lucky recipient, who will presumably be overcome with longing and max out their credit card on last-minute flights.
Famous Kiwi institutions L&P and Pineapple Lumps are being handed out under the billboards as extra temptation - fair enough.
But as for spraying around “emotive smells of newly cut grass and freshly laundered linen”, as Air New Zealand puts it? I wasn’t aware that lawnmowing and laundry were the exclusive property of Aotearoa.
While I’m sure it’s generating some buzz, the idea seems a bit half-baked to me.
On the other hand, with Pacific Blue nipping at their heels and the troop charter scandal still fresh in our memories, perhaps a serious case of the warm fuzzies is exactly what Air New Zealand needs right now.
Nice comment.