Toilet Talk
by Carmen Stella 
To pee or not to pee, this is the question.
Picture it: you’ve decided to treat yourself to a nice meal out at an ‘A’ grade restaurant, you’ve just finished your first drink, then nature calls.
As yet, nothing seems wrong with this story until you leave the calm, happy ambiance of the beautifully decorated dinning area and head into the hazily lit, dingy toilet.
At this stage, the ravishing hunger pains quickly disappear, replaced by a nauseating sensation as the stench of stale urine (or worse) fills your aurora senses.
To add insult to injury you’re met with the sight of scrunched up hand towels strewn across a faded and chipped tile floorfloor.
It’s at this stage you ask yourself: “to pee or not to pee?”
On too many occasions this has been the spoiler of my dining experience, and I am appalled that cafés and restaurants let this fundamental element of their business drop by the ‘waste side’, so-to-speak.
I think that just as kitchens get hygiene and cleanliness ratings, so should toilets, and this should be displayed on the outside of all establishments.
If this happened, people may think twice about spending their money at such places with toilets that make even squatting seem more appealing.
However, all is not lost. There are some places that take this matter seriously and go out of their way to offer the best restroom experience.
The Hilton is one such place, with its pristine, palatial style bathroom, that gleams from every angle and displays both style and elegance.
They have everything from automated doors, to cute little hand towels…oh, and their restrooms are so fragrant, a fart really could get lost in their ‘perfume factory’.
Going into a restroom like this makes me want to stay, just as the underwater experience (see image) I encountered at a small Browns Bay café.
Who needs a magazine to read while you’re on the pan when you are surrounded by fish tanks and fishing nets? It was all visually pleasing, and, thankfully, clean as well. Beautiful, and ten out of ten for toilet presentation. I would definitely choose to pee here.
Have you had any interesting restroom experieneces? Let’s name and shame the establishments with the worst toilets in Auckland.
Submit your horror stories below.