22 November 2008
Sex toys: the new Tupperware?
1 September 2006
By Tamara Walker: Te Waha Nui Online
While sex-toys once had a taboo nature and kinky reputation, it seems they now stand in acceptance next to Tupperware – well almost. Te Waha Nui looks at how sex-toys have become popular in mainstream retail as well as accepted socially.
Seedy, sleazy and exploitive – this is the reputation the adult “sex-toy” industry tends to have.
But religious groups, psychologists, consumers and those in the sex-toy industry say times are changing. And so are people’s attitudes.
There has been a liberal shift towards acceptance of all things sexual, says Auckland University senior psychology lecturer Virginia Braun.
“Sexual pleasure has taken a status as a good thing. Therefore things that bring pleasure, such as sex-toys, are seen positively.”
Michelle Laurie, owner of adult store Loving Touch, says every generation tends to have a more open-minded attitude towards sexuality than the previous one.
“We’re in the midst of a change right now – every woman of every age wants to give new things a go,” she says.
Religious attitudes are changing as well.Rev Clay Nelson of St Matthew-in-the-City says Christianity has traditionally been opposed to sexuality for anything other than procreation.
“But many have moved beyond this view,” he says.
“Sexuality is a perfectly natural and healthy part of humanity. It’s a gift from God.
“We need to be responsible about that gift, but it’s not something to be condemned. It’s something to be celebrated,” he says.
He says he does not have any moral concerns with an increasingly popular part of the sex-toy industry: sex-toy parties.
He says the industry will raise moral concerns only if it involves taking away people’s freedom, imposing control over others against their will, or abusing human rights.
Laurie says there has been a marked increase in popularity over the last three year. Her company currently holds 50 to 80 parties in the Auckland area each month.
Another adult store, D.Vice Designer Sex Gear, says the demand for parties increases by about 10 per cent each year.
Company director Ema Lyons says the parties are so popular that weekends are generally booked out six weeks in advance.
And although the parties mainly attract a female audience, her company has a broad client base.
“We cater for all genders, ethnicities and sexualities,” she says.
Lyons says the concept began in the 1970s when the occasional sex-toy started appearing at women’s lingerie parties.
Under the D.Vice philosophy, sex-toy parties provide “quality sex gear for adventurous everyday people”.
But sex-toys and their parties are not just about having a good time. They also promote safe sex and attempt to break stereotypes and normalise sex-toys so they are not seen as perverted.
Braun says the parties can play an important and healthy role in society.
She says they provide opportunities to discuss and learn about sexuality in a comfortable environment.
Braun, Lyons and Laurie say the home environment and social framework of the parties is conducive to people having a positive experience.
Sarah-Jane Puch and Lizzie Blaunt recently held a D.Vice party for their friends.
“I think to have a party like that in your house – a safe environment – and to have everything out in the open is great,” Puch says.
Blaunt adds that the party offered a “really nice atmosphere to look and buy sex-toys that wasn’t threatening.
“It provided a nice forum where you can ask questions and learn a bit,” she says.
Despite today’s more liberal attitudes to the sex-toy industry and the potential healthy role it can play, Braun warns it can be a double-edged sword.
“Sex-toy parties can have an associated shock or novelty factor, which reinforces the idea that sex is somewhat taboo, naughty or not serious,” she says.
There is also concern that the parties will commercialise sexuality.
This means that an average person may feel the need to buy certain goods in order to have a full sex life.
She also says that, while attitudes in society are more liberal today, “this doesn’t necessarily reflect the reality for many people.”
In a sign of the times, this year’s “Boobs on Bikes” parade attracted a record number of spectators.
